On Adulting

picture of a house with a garden in front
Find yourself wondering how good you are at “adulting”? How do you gauge your own progress in the world of grownups? Some practical thoughts On Adulting.

The other day, I made a comment to a friend that my cat, Loomi, sometimes doesn’t “cat” very well. It was a reference to her dog-like behavior involving being greeted at the door by her, her affectionate mannerisms and occasional eagerness to please, and her anticipatory head drop as she looks down at the ground when she sees one of humans pick up the laser pen. She’s got “dog” down pat, and only when I hear her tearing around the house in a manic romp do I remember that she’s “catting” as well.

I expect strange behavior from cats. They are, after all, space aliens who have decided to inhabit cute, furry bodies in order to study human nature. [j/k]. When it comes to people, however, I find it equally interesting that some of them tell me they aren’t very good at “adulting”. What is that all about?

Ever since the gerund “adulting” entered mainstream conversation, I’ve been more surprised not by its appearance, but by who has taken it most to heart. If you assume it has been taken more seriously by Millennials, think again! The age group that has the most to gain by learning the skills of adulting –and the most to lose for having not learned those skills — are currently in their late 30’s through early 50’s.

If you’re in that age group, fear not. What I’d like to share On Adulting is helpful for all age groups, yet this brief post is particularly important for you. Read on.

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    Just Pick One

    trail-950690_1280
    The key to successfully achieving a goal begins with actually picking one. Just one. Read more about choosing your path and focusing on it. Photo from Creative Commons.

    With the New Year, I hear of people wanting to effect change in their lives. And I am as excited for them as they are! Change may be scary, but it can also be an adventurous path to personal and/or professional success.

    Making a New Year’s resolution has become a tradition for some, and something to avoid for others. Perhaps you’ve been disappointed in the past. You made a big goal for yourself, and once again, you didn’t meet that goal. You didn’t meet it this year, last year, or the year before.

    Well, guess what. You are not alone. Big goals that people want, in general:

    1. Improved health and fitness, in the form of weight loss, improved eating habits, and a regular exercise routine;
    2. Increase financial security, such as learning about investments, developing a career path, changing careers, and launching a business;
    3. Improved relationships, such as refining communication skills, limiting and extinguishing painful behaviors, and starting a new romantic relationship;
    4. Balancing work and life into something reasonable, sustainable, and meaningful;
    5. Learning a new skill, such as riding a bicycle, learning a new language, and playing a musical instrument.

    In 2013, I wrote about New Year’s resolutions in a post, encouraging people to consider looking at these big goals as an evolution, not a revolution. You see, revolution is “change now”; it is violent and quick; it either happens or it does not. ¬†Evolution involves small changes over the long haul, making it more likely to stick to a plan, even if there are a few hiccups. Evolution keeps moving forward. Take a quick look at that post for some tips on making a lifestyle evolution that helps changes really stick.

    This year’s New Year’s resolution tip is simple. If you have never, or rarely ever, been able to follow through on a big goal for the year (and wasn’t related to employed work, where you have someone you are accountable to), all I want you to try for this year is this.

    Pick one. Just one.

    And then, learn how to break that one goal down into actionable points that you can see on a calendar, point at, and track.

    When you can get that one goal laid out in such a way that you can see how reasonable it is to achieve, you may be able to pick another one a little bit down the road. But I recommend that you pick just one for now, and learn how to approach it by focusing.

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      Happy New Year 2016

      Lone hiker with poles running down a narrow ledge of snow on the side of a mountain under sunny skies.
      However you spend your New Year’s Eve and Day, we wish you a happy, healthy 2016 from Seattle Direct Counseling. Photo credit by M.L. Nov. 2015. Used with permission.

      With the New Year 2016, we wanted to say how thankful and grateful we are to have been a part of helping our clients and their loved ones find connection, growth, mental wellness and fortitude, and new directions for creativity and prosperity.

      Our logo is missing from the website, because it was customized in its former state, and all customizations are lost when the website is drifted to a new theme.
      Our logo is missing from the website, because it was customized in its former state, and all customizations are lost when the website is drifted to a new theme.

      If you are a brand spanking new visitor to our website, Welcome! We are so glad you found your way here.

      There are a few items missing, namely our logo design and a couple of “flashy” features that will be rebuilt into the website in early January 2016, namely by Imei (that’s me!), the admin and primary content creator for Seattle Direct Counseling. Don’t worry!

      For all the many reasons you may have been drawn to read this post, please know that we are ready to meet you, wherever you’re “at”, whether you are riding high on successes and wish for deeper growth and perspective, coming off a difficult season of loss and grief, or living somewhere in-between. We’re here to help.

      For our returning clients, we hope you had enough time off during the holidays to reboot, unplug, and refresh. If not, we believe we can create the space for you during sessions to do all three.

      I’ve also provided a Social Media link to another blog I’ve been building in late 2015 focusing on living with Celiac Disease and multiple food allergies. If you or someone you know wants resources, please feel free to share the link to My Allergy Advocate. This resource will be formally launched sometime near August 2016, yet as I have received requests for information, I created this temporary fun blog to make food fun again for the millions of people affected by autoimmune disease and food allergies.

      From the two of us to you, we wish you a Happy New Year for 2016!

      P.S. I (Imei) am rather proud to say I didn’t break the website during the transition to a mobile-enabled website after all, phew!