Client-centered Therapy Psychology

Your Presence Is Requested

Your presence is requested. Photo from Pixabay free images.


Your presence is requested. 

Actually, your presence is needed.

As one person recently stated, there are many situations you may find yourself which fall in the category of, “Things you can’t half-ass.” * Here are  a few examples of things you can’t half-ass:

  • skiing down a steep slope
  • baking a meringue pie
  • operating and steering a ship
  • learning a new dance step or choreography
  • practicing a new language
  • initiating a difficult conversation with someone you love
  • maintaining a good friendship

Truly, you can try any of these activities without putting in much effort. But if you do that, you should also prepare for potential disaster or unexpected results. Can a young person drive for the first time and move the car down the street with no training or driver’s education? Yes, of course! But that person might not have the same outcome as someone who prepared, practiced, or applied full presence to the activity. 

Even the simplest act of breathing in and out during meditation bears a different quality over time when practiced with one’s full attention and presence. If your mind is wandering the Universe, does it not take you away from the moment that is happening, right here, and right now?

For this final blog post for 2018, I invite you to bring your presence — as much as it is possible for you — to whatever you put your hand, or your words or your eyes, or your senses.

If the moment calls for you to listen, then listen. Stop talking. When it’s your turn to talk, reflect what you’ve heard, check in, and ask if you heard everything correctly. Create space for listening. Let the other person know you are listening on purpose.

If the moment calls for you to learn a new skill, throw all your attention into learning. Open yourself up to new ways of seeing, communicating, and processing the new skill. Try the new skill out to see if you learned it.

If the moment calls for you talk to someone and the subject matter is a difficult one, bring your presence, check your defensiveness or aggression, ask for permission to speak candidly, and honor the courage  it takes in both parties to come together and talk.

Whatever the situation, resist the urge to half-ass it. And if you’re wondering if you can tell if you are about to half-ass something,  take a moment to consider if you’ve taken time to be curious, ask questions, to reasonably prepare yourself, or to pay attention. If you find yourself just wanting to “get it over with”, chances are, you are about to half-ass it. The results might not be so bad, and then congratulations, you got away with it, you saved yourself some time and stress, and there was no loss, right?

Or, you could be horribly wrong. What if most of your life feels like a series of moments where you are just getting by, just getting away with the bare minimum of your attention, and events feel lifeless? Or, what if you spend so much time trying to get everything “right” to the point that you cannot be present with what you are experiencing?

Your presence is requested.

Actually, your presence is needed. 

Let’s begin with NOW.  Who needs to wait until New Year’s Day?


*  I use cheeky or strong language when needed, as words such as bad ass, dumb ass,  and smart ass have become part of accepted pop culture.  However, I did want to point out to readers and future readers of this blog that swearing happens, inside and outside of the virtual therapy session.

Change Client-centered Therapy coaching Counseling

September 2018 Address from SDC

Fall 2018 Address from SDC | Fall | What’s New

Fall is almost here! Here is my Fall 2018 address to keep you in touch with everything happening at SDC. Photo by Pixabay.

Outside my window, the leaves area already showing the colors of the impending Fall season. Brilliant yellows, screaming vermillion and reds, and toasted browns dapple my neighborhood.

By now, the kids are back to school, work is humming along, and summer vacation memories are washed and stored away. Now what?

Traditionally, I like to use the weeks just before the advent of Fall to do a check in with self, spirit, relationship, and end-of-year goals.

Questions to ask:

  • How are you doing
  • Where are you with Contentment, Satisfaction, and Role
  • How are you contributing to your happiness and the happiness of others around you
  • What progress have you made towards end-of-year goals, and what adjustments do you want to make now to steer closer to them

As I sat on a boulder admiring the view of Lake Moraine in Banff, Canada, I can tell you that I had no such questions in my mind. I was just taking in the view and soaking up every moment outdoors. Yet, in quiet moments in the evening after darkness had fallen, I asked these questions and took a few notes, knowing that I would be thinking about Fall 2018 and what I am bringing back to Seattle Direct Counseling.

Based on conversations from 2017 to present, here is what you can expect from SDC:

  • Professional online counseling services to help meet the needs of busy people and remote-access clients
  • One day per week access to F2F counseling sessions to help local and traveling clients receive personalized care and urgent mental health care when needed
  •  Certified triathlon coaching  (study to begin Sept 2018)
  • Focused writing on food and wellness for those with autoimmune disease and food allergies and intolerances

Fall marks an influx of new clients seeking to address both stubborn, hurtful patterns of thinking and behaving, and recent transitions that have created challenges and barriers across every area of life.

If you are looking to start therapy, or need a coach for detailed how-to’s, Fall is a great time to set counseling or coaching in motion. Please see my hours and Connect Directly page to get the ball rolling for you.

Change Client-centered Therapy coaching Counseling Psychology

Happy New Year 2018

New Year 2018 | motivation| goals

Woman running along remote road through a mountain canyon in the distance.
Want to see personal change in your life? Tired of the same old, same old, complaining about things you never did? The counseling process can help with personal insight about how you tick, where you get in your own way, and how you can unlock the door to pursuing your own passions and dreams. Photo from Pixabay, no attribution required.

Once again, it’s a new year.

Once again, you might find yourself among those who wish to use the start of a new year to institute a change. Maybe you want to start a new habit, learn to eat better, drink less or abstain from alcohol, drop some weight, gain some muscle, strengthen a relationship, or end a toxic one.

You look back at the previous year, and wonder, “Why couldn’t I have accomplished this last year?”

I hear you. I understand the hunger for change. I also understand that it is easier to talk about change than it is to actually change.

If you came by this counseling website in hopes of starting counseling because you would like to work on change, I’d like to be of help. This is a simple post.

I believe that with minimal motivation or inspiration (the why behind the change you want to see in your personal life), the element you need is to take an action regarding the what and the how.  And if you are to have half a chance at successfully reaching a reasonable goal of change, you need to get going on a plan.

Let me repeat this simple thought. Once you understand the why, you really need to take ACTION. If you don’t, you will be asking the same question about why you did not see change in 2018 when 2019 rolls around. And that is an icky feeling, like finding an old piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your favorite pair of boots, when you could have removed it a long time ago.

One of the things I love about counseling is that a certain amount of coaching is baked into the process. While it always begins with understanding your past and how it plays out in the present, it doesn’t have to stop there.  You can design a plan of action around your counseling insights, and work towards change in measurable steps.

If you have a hunger for personal change, I’d love to discuss with you how counseling can help.  My counseling practice has transitioned to all online telemental health  and private coaching, accessible through a HIPPA compatible platform.

Happy New Year,