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Emotional Intelligence How to Love and Romance Psychology Relationships Romance Social Media Technology

Five Ways to Text With Love

by B. Imei Hsu, RN, LMHC
Ever thought about how much time and effort you spend texting your main squeeze? Find out how to be super smart about love and texting.  And watch where you're going!
Ever thought about how much time and effort you spend texting your main squeeze? Find out how to be super smart about love and texting. Don’t text and move around, OK?

While walking from the office to my bus stop, I watched a young woman texting someone as she briskly walked towards a busy intersection. She was engrossed in a text conversation, furiously tapping on her virtual keyboard, and three steps away from walking against a red light. When she was ready to step into oncoming traffic, I yelled, “Stop now!” and touched her arm. She looked up at me with a startled expression, oblivious to what almost happened to her, then turned her attention back to her phone without removing an earbud of her headphones.

The two other witnesses standing nearby shook their heads and smiled. It’s like we knew what the other was thinking. Next time, she won’t be so lucky.

Isn’t that awful? What is so important in that text that a person would risk her own life?

Let me share with you five things I’ve learned about texting the one you love, so you can become super smart about making the most of your mobile device while not getting tripped up (no pun intended) on the curbs of modern love foibles. It’s one thing if you get hit by a truck (and I really hope you don’t!); it’s another if you throw your own relationship under the technology bus.

Categories
Emotional Intelligence Psychology Romance

On Mind Reading

Mind Reading Expectations can be toxic to your relationship. Find out how you can hack your fairytale and drop the MRE's.
Mind Reading Expectations can be toxic to your relationship. Find out how you can hack your fairytale and drop the MRE’s.

Mind Reading, Expectations, Emotional Intelligence, Valentine’s Day

Given that I don’t watch much television (“any” turned into “much” once I started watching “Downton Abby”), I find watching commercials a rare event in my life. Other than the carefully crafted and clever Super Bowl commercials, I find myself doing a lot to avoid advertisements selling me the latest and greatest.

I especially find Valentine’s Day advertisements annoying. Why? Because many of them focus on just a handful of clichéd themes surrounding the nature of romance. Usually, there is  an engendered story: man needs to buy his wife a gift to show that he loves her, and he feels pressured to pick just the right thing without being told what might make her happy. Get it right, and she’s happy and over the moon! Get it wrong, and he’s in the doghouse for days to come. 

What are we really seeing here? It’s the management of expectations, specifically around that of mind reading, called Mind Reading Expectations, or MRE. The man is supposed to know what the woman wants without her having to tell him, a sort of, “Where’s the fun in that?” mixed with, “He should know me by now.”