While some look forward to Valentine’s Day and romantic weekends full of relational bliss, others struggle painfully with feelings of loneliness. On Feb, 14 (Valentine’s Day), I swore I could hear audible groans among those who find the most romantic day of the year one filled with pain and withdrawal. A single person living in a city can come in contact with more than fifty people a day, and yet come home to an empty house and an empty heart. Time and time again, my clients share stories of meals eaten alone, activities they have missed because they couldn’t find a date, and worries about ever finding Mr. or Ms. Right. It’s no surprise that many have turned to technology – especially online dating – to find love.
Gone are the days of ridiculous videos (but there’s still a lot of silly and outdated photos), like this Youtube video, “Before eHarmony”:
A couple of years ago, I developed a method of helping people determine what they want out of a relationship, what they come to the table with, and a strategy for increasing their opportunities of finding a life partner. For many, online dating platforms provide a safe way to meet larger amounts of people with less risk than trying to find someone in a more traditional way. Sites such as Match, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, and eHarmony use different kinds of questions and strong profiling categories to help create potential matches based on your interests and values.
While it’s now commonplace for new clients to mention they are using dating sites to find love, it isn’t always common for therapists to have a program to help those clients make their search more fun, safe, as well as effective. How do you know if people are telling the truth? Which kinds of profiles should you be looking for, and which ones should you decline? What should you do to increase the number of quality dates you try, and what can you do to encourage a second date with someone who shows interest? I can look at your profile online, help you make corrections, and become your date coach until you say “when.”
I’ve considered all the ups and downs of online dating, and I’m prepared to share this information with my clients. Included in your assessment is a reading of your profile, and a session focused on writing to be read, engaged, and interacted with time and time again. I’ll finesse your profile without you losing your “voice” and help point yourself in the direction of becoming the kind of person who attracts the right kind of partner. I’ll also do post-date processing, where I’ll help you explore options to make even bad dates a positive experience you can use in the future without becoming bitter.
While online dating has some definite downsides, the upside is how it’s possible you can find your life partner by being savvy on the Internet. It’s all about love in a time of technology and online dating. Take the time to learn how to use the tools to your advantage and learn to read people — and yourself — better than you ever have before.