Categories
Change Client-centered Therapy coaching Counseling eTherapy Psychology Therapy

Your New Year’s Resolution for 2013

by B. Imei Hsu, BSN-RN, MAC-LMHC, Artist

Are you thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions for 2013?  I noticed friends and colleagues posting their resolutions on a variety of Social Media platforms. Rather than construct a lengthy post about New Year’s resolutions and change and blah blah blah, I’d like to share with you my new, pithy motto about these commitments we make every year, and just a few words about how it works.

I didn’t learn to snowboard in one season, or one resolution. If you want lasting change, you must create a pathway of steps beyond an ideal commitment. Learn how with my pithy statement.

New Year’s Resolutions Do Not Work

Surprise!  New Year’s Resolutions take four attempts on average for people to complete.    The very nature of a resolution has change at the heart of it, and change is not the easiest concept for people to embrace unless you have a plan that allows you to encounter and engage the ensuing discomfort that comes with change.

I see this every year with people’s fitness and health goals. Starting January 2, the gym is filled with people you never see any other time of year. They are wearing new togs fresh from Christmas and end-of-year gifts. Their sneakers are squeaky and fresh; their socks are so white, having never seen a drop of bleach. They are enthusiastically bouncing up and down on treadmills (which I don’t recommend — bouncing, that is). And they are obediently following a trainer around the gym, lifting this and pushing that.

But it doesn’t last longer than about 30 days.

Categories
Change

Five Tips For A New You in the New Year

It’s a new year. Most of us are open to trying something new, making a change, or jumping on a resolution you know you need. Here are five tips to help you create the new you you’ve been waiting for. Don’t wait another year. Get started, now!

1. Write it down. Clear and reasonable goals are the first step to knowing what it is you want in what amount of time, and how you will achieve that goal. When you write your goal down, you are forced to articulate that goal with specific detail.

I find it very helpful to make mini-goals within goals which are time-limited. This helps you track your progress as well as see how close you are to achieving your ultimate goal, especially if your goal includes a long process or a significant lifestyle change.

2. Share it, and share it often. Remind yourself, your loved ones -even your pets! – that you are going to do what you say you are. By sharing your goals with others, you are more likely to follow through with real actions.

3. Ask for help. You don’t have to do it alone. Whether your goal is to learn how to make a budget and stick to it, to lose some excess weight, or change jobs, you can ask others who have done the same to give you some tips on how to follow in their footsteps. Why reinvent the wheel when you someone else has done the work for you?

4. Do a little research. When you study up on what lies ahead in the journey to achieve your goal, you can better anticipate the rewards and pitfalls along the way, and better manage the the potential for setbacks, discouragement, and self-doubt. Google, WikiAnswers, and community-based crowd sourcing communities can help you look at your goals from various angles before you plan your strategy of attack.

5. Build in a reward. People are similar to the beloved pets in our lives. There are many things we’ll do “just because”, but there are some things we do better with a little motivation. Over the years, I’ve seen people do everything from rewarding themselves with extra time to read a book, go out of town for a weekend, put money in a jar for every time they worked on a project, or even take a “kiss break” with their sweetheart.

After you’ve incorporated all five parts of your action plan, the next step is simply to DO IT. Work backwards from your time limit, and make as much headway as you can. Enjoy the process of the journey, and be sure to talk about it with others. It’s the memories you build along the way that form a mental pathway — literally, creating a new groove in your brain as well as your lifestyle.

Some of you reading this may have already tried these things, while scratching your head that you did not achieve the results you wanted. Coaching can often help you get “unstuck” or learn the skills to help you move ahead. Seattle Direct Counseling and Coaching offers coaching services focusing on motivation and “unstuckness” that may be the perfect thing for you. Call for your free 15 minute coaching sample.