William and Kate got married April 29, 2011, and you have the wedding bell blues? You’re not alone. Even if you don’t want to tie the knot (or schedule a joining ceremony) just yet, you might be thinking about what it is that you’re not seeing, thinking, or experiencing that has been holding your love life in an arrested state of development.
At Seattle Direct Counseling, I am an advocate of involving others, including a trusted therapist and other mentors and close friends into the process of pre-engagement counseling. This is a discussion around the reasonableness, viability, and challenges involved in a decision to make that life commitment to someone. As broken engagements become more common, we should also expect a rise in requests for pre-engagement counseling. But alas, it seems like most people are still dashing head-long into marriage without considering a stepped process into creating a sustainable relationship.
As you make plans for the summer, perhaps your thoughts are turning to vacation, travel, and activity that requires more than yourself to enjoy. If you’re single, who will you take? If you’re in a relationship, how do you cultivate a close but nurturing connection that makes you look forward to time together instead of worrying about getting along? Now is the time to look into pepping it up, pimping it out, and improving your relationship so that you’re both getting the most out of it.
My friends Barby and Miguel of Twitter site @SparkzAgain are creating their website to help couples keep and maintain the sparks of love necessary to keep the fires burning in a committed relationship. When you see how much is involved either pre or post wedding, perhaps it will help you take inventory on what it takes to be a good partner with someone you care about.
And what if you do want to get married, but you’re in a relationship where your partner does not (or cannot, for whatever reasons)? I highly recommend the book, “Unmarried To Each Other” by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller. This essential guide helps couples consider all their options, including marriage, living together, life partnership without marriage (but not living together), and other non-traditional arrangements. Ever wanted to break away from the wedding bell blues? Read this guide to consider why there may be reasons you and your sweetie may not wish to get married yet wish to stay together, whether that be short-term or for the long haul.
You might have wedding bell blues during the season when wedding announcements abound, but remember, everything comes in its time and season. Determining who, if, and when is more important than racing to the altar for an “I do.” You’ll be more likely to avoid the painful possibility of hearing an “I don’t” down the line.